31 Prayers for My Future Husband Review

I have always looked forward to the one that God made for me. It was such a nice thought that I would have a partner that I could rely on. Well I’m 26 and there have been a lot of toads and no prince yet. I wanted someone who had the same values and beliefs as me. After finally finding a guy who I thought was just right. We prayed, we laughed and we planned for things in the future. So long story short my prince I thought I’d found was a toad that changed his status on Facebook to single and then broke up with me in a text message.

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So I was down in the dumps for a while. I just wanted to be by myself. I was coming to terms with the fact that although I was just dumped like it was the 7th grade, there were good things that came from this relationship and I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I wanted someone who is mature and knows how to budget money. I learned a lot of things I had never really thought about before. I was feeling really discouraged one day when I came across this book. It was 31 Prayers for my future Husband by Jennifer & Aaron Smith. I thought how cool is that, to look forward to a future with someone that was made for you by God. Someone that makes you wonder why you ever cried over that old ex? That was what it started out as. I never knew that it would make me look at things from a completely different perspective.

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One of the main aspects of this book was praying for your future husband. This was a little odd to me. I had always prayed for a future husband like Lord please send me a good and kind husband but it was mainly greedy prayers that I was praying for myself, because I wanted someone now not later. As I was reading this book my views changed because it wasn’t about just me. The book pointed out prayers that you could pray for his heart, his family, his wisdom, his kindness and compassion. Of course these are things that I would love to have in a partner but I had not being praying for them for his-sake. I had been praying for them for mine. This book really opened my eyes to the fact that while I live my life and go through different trials and tribulations, the one God made for me is doing the same as well. We are both being prepared so that we can be good partners for one another.

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So the best thing I can say about this book is that it brought me peace, in waiting. I would rather wait and be with the right person then not and be miserable. It made me thankful that ex did break up with me because now I see that he was right, I was not the one for him. What a blessing that ended up being but you couldn’t have told me that at the time. One of the more interesting things about this book is that it is written by a husband and wife and they also have a book for a future wife as well.

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So if you know anyone that is having a hard time not finding the one I think this could be a source of encouragement for them, like it was for me. It wouldn’t hurt to check it out. 🙂 Hope you get a chance to read this book, until next time, Jacqulenne

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River’s Baby Blanket

Okay so starting off I feel like I should go ahead and apologize if the pictures look dark, not vivid, or just plain odd. I am still learning about lighting/shadows so you’ll have to bear with me. I promise to get better, hopefully, as I go. So this was made for a sweet mutual friend I share with my sister. She has had a hard life and I wanted to make something special for her that let her know I cared for her and was so excited for her little one. She had told my her baby colors were various shades of purple. So I was flipping through ideas about baby blankets on Pinterest and came across an idea of using 3-4 yarn threads while crocheting instead of just one like I’ve always done. So voila it worked and turned out pretty good.

 

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I am not sure what size this crochet needle is but it is ginormous and it was needed for this one. I looked all over the needle and it is completely blank. There is no letter, brand name, anything. This blanket was so easy I actually finished this in a couple days which shocked me. But it should be known, I did not have a lot going on in those two days either, so I could sit and crochet uninterrupted.

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I thought I might try a border but honestly it looked better without one. I used a simple single-crochet stitch. While you can chain it to be the width/length you prefer I used an example size from an actual baby blanket which measured… -Sorry to interrupt this blog but my baby niece, who is 6, took my example size blanket for one of her dolls and now cannot find either. (Noooo) So I’m sorry but I will have to update the exact size when I find where the blanket ran off to 😥

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Moving on to yarn. Yay, yarn makes me so happy, its weird but I can’t help it. I love it. So as I stated before I used 4 strands of yarn while crocheting this blanket. I used Red Heart White, Red Heart Purple Tones, Red Heart Orchid, and Caron Simply Soft Orchid Here is a picture of front and back of the yarn below.

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My favorite out of all of these was definitely the Caron Simply Soft Orchid. It was so soft I hope that I can make another blanket or afghan with just various colors of Caron Simply Soft yarn, it would be great to snuggle with.

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But I had a blast crocheting this, crocheting is my happy place. Hope everyone has a blessed weekend, Jacqulenne

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Finding Refuge

So have you ever had one of those days, weeks, months or year where things were coming at you from many different angles. It wasn’t just one specific thing and it wasn’t one specific situation. It was numerous things coming at you from numerous situations.

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This would have been okay if it had been a rough day but this had been a rough couple of weeks. Anyone who struggles with anxiety or any type of disorders knows when you feel something coming on or you know your not your usual happy go lucky self. I knew I wasn’t feeling right today. Personally, I struggle with severe anxiety and agoraphobia.

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I also help take care of my grandmother who has dementia and I help with raising my niece, she is 6. My sweet niece had the flu last week and was so sick. There is no other helpless feeling than when a loved especially, a little one, is sick or hurt and you can’t do anything about it. I am also in the process of getting my Bachelor’s degree and I had finals this week. Lot of studying and studying and studying.

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Another zinger, it was found that a close family member’s boyfriend was not the kind of person we thought he was. Loved ones had thought they were helping this person but instead they were completely taken advantage of. There was a lot of confusion because this person had presented themselves as being completely different. #trust

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Long story short it felt like things kept coming and coming. I survived finals, my niece recovered from the flu, the boyfriend issue was to be determined… I know how I would have already handled it but you have to trust your loved ones to handle things the best way they can, in a time when they are able to. So basically it all came down to a baby shower. We (my sister and I) received an invitation a couple of weeks ago in the mail to come to a friend’s baby shower. I was so excited I thought this was great. I love babies and I knew that this particular friend had struggled with so many trials and tribulations in the past. I crocheted a baby blanket for her (will upload pics on separate post). I just wanted this friend to know how much she meant to me, being the kind person she is. And the excitement I had for her starting this new journey in life as a mother.

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What should have been a time of excitement and celebration turned into something different for me. I started to get distracted by everything going wrong in my life at the time. All of the different hats I needed to wear to be there for my loved ones were suddenly a burden instead of a privilege. Getting up this morning, the anxiety was the first thing I noticed. I felt distracted, anxious, irritable not at all my strong, capable, independent self. I felt the tide of a panic attack creeping upon. I was dressed and ready to go and my sister was waiting for me. I walked outside, just to be, for just a moment. I felt the panic attack crash down upon me. And I cried and panicked and cried probably for a good 15 minutes. I felt myself pleading with God, fill me with your light Lord, please give me the strength to get through this. It always surprises me afterwards, when I’m so disappointed in myself. I am such a strong woman, and I feel the weakest when I have had a really bad panic attack.

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But that is what the enemy wants us to think. He wants us to think that we are alone, and that no one understands. If we think we are freaks, losers, and somebody that nobody cares about, we are easier to manipulate, beat down and ostracize from the happy lives that God has in store for us. But we aren’t those things. Everyone struggles with their individual burdens everyday. Everyone knows what it feels like to be alone, like no one cares or understands but its NOT TRUE. You aren’t alone, people DO CARE and YOU are important. God does NOT make mistakes. You are here for a reason. You can use your trials, tribulations, and burdens as a way to help and encourage those who are going through the same thing everyday.

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I believe that we are given a space of time here, to leave a mark, to make a difference. What are you going to do with your time? I want to use the time I have to be an encouragement to others. Yes, I’m weird, quirky, I have a really weird sense of humor, and an obsession with organizing things. But I’m proud of all of the odd things that make me, well Me. As difficult as anxiety is, it’s what makes me more compassionate, humble, and caring of those who struggle around me. If I didn’t struggle with this disorder I wouldn’t understand how it could be possible for someone to be fighting an inner battle that no one knows anything about, but I do know. I’m grateful for the things I struggle with because it makes me stronger, just like it makes YOU stronger.

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Later on tonight when I saw my sister she said I got something for you today. I felt I had been through the ringer, it had been such a long day and I was pleasantly surprised. I felt like I had let myself down by allowing my anxiety to control things I did and did not do in my life. She gave me this little bundle wrapped in tissue paper and said “When I saw this I thought of you”. I opened the tissue paper and saw a necklace with a medallion at the bottom. It had the verse Psalm 91:4 “He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge”. I started crying and kept crying while thanking her. This was what I needed to hear. God is here, ready to give refuge from life’s storms if only I will turn to Him. If only I would give him these worries, concerns, and burdens that seem so important to me all of the time. But doesn’t He understand I have to make sure these things get handled? Doesn’t He see that I need to be able to control these things because there were times when I didn’t have control? If feels like God’s saying “Don’t you see the many things you try to oversee, control and manage are already being overseen, controlled, and managed by Me?” How can God shoulder my burdens for me if I won’t let them go? By trying to hold on to this belief that somehow I can control all these things I’m overwhelming myself and stretching myself too thin. Think of everything you have to worry about make a list of all of the people, issues, heartbreak you have in your mind and imagine how heavy it is to carry all of these burdens with you everyday. I don’t know about you but it makes me feel tired, overwhelmed and small. Now imagine taking all your burdens and giving them to God. You can’t fix everything, you can’t be everyone to everybody and you can’t control everything. You can only do what you can do and that’s okay. Give your burdens, every single one of them to God. Now imagine yourself without those burdens. How do you feel now? I feel free and lighter. I feel like I’ve found refuge.

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I hope that this post has brought some encouragement to someone. Maybe it made you think about things from a different perspective. Whether its you or a loved one struggling with something, you are not alone. You are important, you are loved and you are strong. Until next time, I bid you adieu. I hope everyone that reads this has a blessed week. How about I’ll pray for you and you pray for me 🙂 until next time, Jacqulenne

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What is a purpose?

Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created, for which something exists.

Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created, for which something exists. I suppose there were many reasons why I started a blog. Considering I had never done anything like this before it was really daunting to me. It was something I had always wanted to do but wasn’t sure I could.

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What lit a fire under me about starting a blog came in the form of class I was required to take at my university. I am in the process of getting my Bachelor degree in Psychology. While needing an extra psychology class that was not a requirement I decided to sign up for the Psychology of Women class, as a woman I thought it would be funny to see what Psychologists had to say about my gender. I was not expecting something that would leave me walking away a better woman with a new perspective.

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Quite frankly most of my previous professors see their job as just that, a job. It isn’t their job to encourage their students. It isn’t their job to be kind. And it isn’t their job to care. There are there to simply give you the material to learn, grade your work, and move on to the next class. I will graduate with my degree next fall and this is the first teacher that I’ve had that has had an interest in me, my opinion, and my future. She challenged us everyday to see things differently. She challenged us after every lesson at the end of that week to tell her what we learned, how did it change the way we looked at things, and how could we use this new perspective in the future?

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At first it was unreal to me. It was hard for me to believe that a professor actually cared about what I, an undergraduate, thought about things. But she did. she did care and she wanted us to succeed. She wanted us as people, to want better for ourselves. She wanted us to challenge ourselves to become better people and to make a difference not just in the fields that we are going into but to make a difference in our everyday lives. She taught us that although we will come into contact with people from all walks of lives, different ethnicity, cultures and those from a different generation it was up to us to try to understand where they were coming from by looking at things from their perspective. She taught me that kindness is a choice that is universal in all languages and cultures.

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By the time the class was coming to an end it really saddened me that this light of encouragement I had been growing in wasn’t going to be there after this week. After speaking with her she told me to stay in contact with her and when the time came for me to attend Graduate school she would be proud to write a letter for me. I was grateful for her kindness but I wasn’t sure that she really understood the impact that she had on me. But I knew one thing for sure I wanted to be even a small portion of that, for others around me. I wanted to be a source of encouragement, a kind word or action for people that came into contact with me I just wasn’t sure how.

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So I guess the reason I wanted to make this blog was because I wanted to have a purpose aside from my work, school, or community. I wanted to give someone else faith and hope even if it was delivered in a bumbling, fumbling kind of way that I do things with my quirky sense of humor. I wanted to challenge someone like I have challenged myself to make a difference. Even if it is a kind word, action, or other small deed. Challenge yourself to look at things from another person’s perspective and make a difference.

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I hope whoever is reading this has a blessed day, week, month and so on. As human beings we are constantly evolving, learning, and growing in different ways. Look at growing pains as a blessing because what you learn from them makes you a stronger, smarter, and more compassionate person.

Here’s to a new adventure, Jacqulenne